The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. - Anonymous

I'm not a bad guy! I work hard, and I love my kids. - Erma Bombeck

Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say what we really need is a car that can be shot when it breaks down. - Homer J. - Paul Erlich

Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes we want a pickup truck, and end up with a station wagon. put on a shirt and a button fell off. - Groucho Marx

We have it. - Rita Mae Brown

If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead. Think of your three best friends. The smoking gun. But this garbage, having passed through a very expensive machine, is somehow ennobled and none dare criticize it. China High-speed embroidery machine parts Manufacturers- Tim Allen. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy. - Dennis Miller

A hippie is someone who looks like Tarzan, walks like Jane and smells like Cheetah. I got up this morning . - Rodney Dangerfield

If we knew what we were doing, it wouldn't be called research, would it? - Albert Einstein

The first rule of intelligent tinkering is to save all the parts. So why should I spend half my Sunday hearing about how I'm going to Hell? - Homer J. - Russell Baker

If you put garbage in a computer nothing comes out but garbage. There's just one problem - it's in North Korea. I'm afraid to go to the bathroom.Whatever you are doing at this very moment can be made better by a bit of laughter. The potential weapon of mass destruction we have been looking for as our pretext of invading Iraq. If they're okay, then it's you. Okay, probably not heart surgery, but you get the idea. The evidence. She said if she told me it would defeat the purpose. Simpson

Money frees you from doing things you dislike. - Ronald Reagan

If Thomas Jefferson thought taxation without representation was bad, he should see how it is with representation.. So without further delay, it is time to laugh to these quotes, thoughts and ramblings. - Jon Stewart

Its been a rough day. I picked up my briefcase and the handle came off. Simpson

I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman where the Self Help section was. - Rush Limbaugh

Beer: The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems